HOLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYY CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!

i stopped by my friend's house on the way home and tried something on drums. The whole time in school i was listening to white lights by rufio so i could play it on drums (for amazing talking machines). so i listened to it and i went to a friend's place and HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i could play WHITE LIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM AWESOME. WUHOOOOO!!!!!

I'm having COMGRAP right now and i'm still soooo tired. let's just say that last night was very interesting and my friendship with cal is totally ruined in a diff level. haha...

I woke up cos amelie was walking over my back. funny. i knew it was her. hahaha she's the most adorable babygirl in the world. she was cuter than me!!! bleh.

Can you tell (again) i don't have much to say and i just want to write here cos there's nothing better to do?

"Life is a Highway and I wanna Ride it All night long. If you're going my way, i wanna ride it all night long!" ---Yah man... fuckin yah!

"I wanna make a mess, I wanna blow off stress. I wanna stoke the fire. Just creatures." ---point taken. wuhoo.

Weird... my friend and I were talking and we started being a little deep. Our conversations went around... as in... AROUND. then in the end we ended our thoughts with something written on my sketchpad/notebook: "The Kids Are Stoked." puta, we are stoked man. Fuckin Stoked to the bone. Bleh. Sucks.

this year... wow... so much for a new year. It's been fucked and confusing. Sometimes i feel like im too cool for some people they cant handle me. HAHAHAHA kiss my ass. It's like i feel like some people just dont know who they are that they pretend to know what the heck you're talking about. geez. nice. Moving on.

Should i work in NY summer of 07 or 08? 08 ill be an incoming senoir so, thatll suck man. I'm still thinking about london cos it's kinda hard right now. Europe is really expensive and i dunno if ill be able to work. Cristina said that i could visit her during the weekends so im not lonely in new castle but yah... the money for travelling and food. hard. It's not like the usa, you know... hay... wherever God leads me right? blah. haha. but the summer job is for SURE. Mom and dad are going to pay for the trip and food. The rest of the expenses are on me already. AAAAAHHHH no shopping. If i do the summer job this year then Steven, Rox, and I are gonna meet up in NY and watch broadways. Steven wants to watch this off-broadway called Alter boys. HAHAHA hay steven... steven's so cute now!!! no more glasses and he's not nerdy anymore. HAHAHA he's from MIT. Man, hanging out with those two... i felt like i was stupd. NAh, jk. We had some intellectual conversation about religion in CPK. that was interesting.
What happened in the past few days?

Friday::: went to Atc before going to school to do something extremely dorky... to use the wifi in starbucks to play warcraft in battlenet. hahahah i also bought my new toy. my mousie for big momma mac. hahaha

Saturday::: Fuckin cool man. I forgot what i did during the day... haaha but at night I hung out with my Mel, bea, jus, vince, and Jon. We made a music video for crazy frog. ahahahaha losers to the max man. Mel's mom is super cool. She was sharing with us her life as a nurse in the states. la lang... her stories were funny. OH YAH, mel bea jus and i played life but in the middle of the game we got lazy. hahaha so we just took funny pix of ourselves. haahahaha

Sunday::: I was left alone at home. I missed morning mass cos i woke up super late then i fell asleep in my room. missed the 12:30 mass in asian +. then my family went out to eat lunch and they left me at home. I went to mass at 6pm then went to Nang's house to play poker with the fam. I lost again. dad won. Then dinner. Then Mari and I plyed Warcraft. i'm teaching him warcraft and he loves it. YAY!!!!

Monday::: I went to the Doctor and found out i had Diabetes. 2nd stage. sucks... heh heh. My fault. yahyahyah. then i went to Atc and hung out with Rox and Steven. We like bonded . it's been so fuckin long. hahahaha then Steven and I needed internet but we didn't wanna pay 100php for an hour of internet so we went to Rox's house and used her WIFI WHERE we watched spoofed music vids and songs in the net. hahaha steven and i shared "bored" sites. then i went home. I forgot what i did when i got home... i think i did my BAVIDEO hw.

Tuesday::: School but hung out with friends in between :P Shit, bavideo man. hahaha my teacher is FUCKIN AWESOME. i love him. he's the best teacher i've ever had. His teaching style is SCARY but DAMN AWESOME. He made us visualize this whole scene. It was so cool... HE LIKED 2 out of 3 ideas!!!!! WUHOOO!!!! he told me to do the bathroom concept. Still thinking about it cos it'll be like a documentary/story. Hard to do that. I'm no pro. Went home and talked to Dans of the phone.
*SEE YOU AGAIN CODY AND GAB!!!! i'll miss ya guys. you kids are too cool.*

Upcoming sched: parties. gigs. jam sessions. gaming.
Thea's Pirate Bday man! fuckin awesome.
Andy's Drunken Party on Friday! reunion man! fuckin a.
Reg's Good Food Dinner Party on Saturday! shit. eat galore.
DJ's Jammin in his casa on Friday! (i dunno how ill be able to go cos that's andy's thingy) you know im excited... i love playing 311 songs...

Hey, i've started my own business of making people graphic arts or anything that falls under that. people can make it presents and etc.

I made myself a logo for my "company"

Kadets go to Greg's house!!!!!!!!!!!!!! poker night also!!!!!

I had the best sunday ever! really! Went shopping in apple center GB, bazaar and saw the prettiest stars bracelet... and then jamie's debut. It was like a reunion man. Old my old friends and classmates in preschool and kindergarden were there.


Anyways, Jamie's debut was fun and i was a candle.
I'm so tired because i haven't slept. what am i doing here? and my fuckin internet is so slow. shit man.

Finally.... desprin and frehand finals are done...... i'm so tired of drawing. no more drawing and coloring for a while. Tomorrow is estheta finals. Before taking the test we're gonna check for our final grade and if were happy with it we don't have to take the exam. I hope im doing fine so i don't have to take it. Scray... i sleep in ms' class... tangina... i did really bad pa in the report. wala... im gonna take the exam. i have to read that damn H.O.

Oh yah, here's my frehand finals. im so fuckin proud of it cos i did that in one night and 3 hours in school.

I'm gonna read my estheta hand out now. so i could fuckin sleep early tonight. One more day carms then your on fuckin vacation. Xmas sucks once again but that's okay i gez.

Family Day this morning
School Project (cramming 2 at the same time)
Met up with Dans, went to WR for a bit then went home
Dans and I made an excersing video
I ate dinner
Talked to Eli on the phone for a bit
Now, im here.

Sunday = debut of dear godsis, jamie and im a freakin 'candle'. i dont know what to say... i have to be good cos the whole ICbb group will be there... Ack. it's at night panaman eh. so that's okay.
Monday = submission of desprin and frehand. Tangina, i haven't done my frehand. Feeling ko, im gonna die cramming that shit.
Tuesday =  have to be in school early so i  could check my estheta grade. I'll know if i have to take the exam or not. I wish ms. is nice to me. i listen to her... and my tests aren't bad! hmmm ill know by then .i have to study anyway.
Wednesday = i'm officially done with my 5th term. Friends are coming home!!! YES!!! Rox is coming home pala so she's bringin home my laptop! wuhooooo
Thrusday = Xmas party
Friday = Xmas parties and course card distribution but i dont know which classrooms to go to
Saturday = Anj's bday dinner in her house i gez another xmas party!
Sunday = XMAS EVE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday = XMAS DAY!!!!!

I'm going to the beach with family + extended fam + italian-pinoy friends. I have a place na to stay in london. hahahaha! my "Godsis" works pala there... she's here for the holidays. yay!

Japs: You can ask for forgiveness. You can forgive. Be civil but i believe you have the brains to tell when to take it seriously. She says she's not ready to face you then she's not really sorry and that's obvious. What to do? Just ignore her and let her be. Let her where that mask that everyone sees. She's allowing her pride to take over and you girls shouldn't allow that. Even if she buys you ponies and cars, she's not serious. Carms she doesn't know you. She has the guts to ask forgiveness from Danica and Alex but not you? Tell Alex and Danica to forget it and i would like to encourage them to leave not speak to her and not take in her shit. It's good that you're a "one for all and all for one" because you're doing it the right way. You're not siding with her for a good reason and until she doesn't understand why they're doing that then they shouldn't even bother giving her a glimpse of happiness. She uses excuses, fine, but that's not the only thing you should notice. Notice the way she's moves and looks. You know when someone's being true. In life, nothing's fair. It's her time to really see the philosophy and concept behind that saying. Remember I told you about my philosophy on limitations? She crossed the boundaries between friendship and point of forgiveness. You don't forgive people who don't deserve it. That's the real world. The bible tells us shit sometimes too. We have rationality and it's rational to snob someone who snobs your every existence. She wants respect from you guys then she should have thought about that sooner. She can't control herself from being a bitch queen then you should tell her that you can't control being angry at her and you have to show her that she's done enough. If she still doesn't realize the pain she's caused then leave her to rot. She claims that you guys hurt her then it's also rational that she act like an adult. Carms, i can't believe you can be friends with someone like that. You, Danica, and Alex have smarter brains and more knowledge about friendship. Why are you LIMITING yourself to her? She's not worthy of your brains. Do what's right.

MY LAYOUT IS SO CUUUTE!!!!!hahahahahahahaha!!!! la lang. the girl is carms :)

(wow, lj changed it's layout. that's awesome)

I was making andrew's gift last night and it just came to me... i realized how much I love Andrew. I realized that if i could I would move the world for him. I was detailin a drawing and fuck, i was ready to rip the paper off cos it was so annoying and hard but nah, i thought to myself "this is for andrew... you just want it to be perfect." I gez that concept could be placed in our relationship. It's hard to draw my "picture" with andrew. it's hard to detail it and it'll make you wanna rip your head off or something but... you know, it' ok. everything fine and perfect. Perfect cos i see that there's beauty in distortion and there's humor in misfortune.

And with him "im dying to live until i'm ready to die." We're both trying so hard to live. The only time we'll both be ready to die is when we're settled down and have done everything possible. So, yah... i realized how much i love that guy and yah, geez, i love him like fuckin crazy. i don't think ill love anyone the way i love him. it's crazy but FUCKIN AWESOME. It's different when you say you love someone from saying it when you acutally know the reasons why you love that someone.

CHEEZINESS....!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA Go Carms! But hey! i meant every word. nyhahaha.
I LOVE ANDREW.
(sana he reads this... hahaha hint hint to my friends)
You know what started alll of this?!???!! Feels like Home - Chantal Kreviazuk! shet. shet. hahahha love that song :P
"and if you knew how happy you are making me. i never thought that i could love anyone so much. it feels like home to me. it feels like home to me. it feels like im home all the way back where i come from."

I wanna join a band and audition for a show and play LIFE'S A BITCH by Shooter. hahahahaha!!!! man that will be soooo cool. oh my god...
SONGS TO PLAY IF GIVEN THE CHANCE TO PLAY ON REALLY BIG STAGE IN FRONT OF SO MANY PEOPLE MY AGE OR YOUNGER:
1. Life's a Bitch - Shooter
2. Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus
3. Anyway You Want It - Journey
4. Footloose - Kenny Loggins (i know how to play the drums of this song. hahahahaha)
5. Jukebox - The Flirts
6. Burning Love
7. I wanna be sedated - offspring
MANY MORE

My song for andrew is Burning Love (version of Wynonna)
OH YES!!!!!!!!!! God, sex will be so hot if that song is played when im with him... HAHAHAHA

Lord almighty,
I feel my temperature rising
Higher higher
It's burning through to my soul

Baby, baby, baby,
You gonna set me on fire
My brain is flaming
I don't know which way to go

Your kisses lift me higher
Like the sweet song of a choir
You light my morning sky
With burning love

Ooh, ooh, ooh,
I feel my temperature rising
Help me, i'm flaming
I must be a hundred and nine
Burning, burning, burning
And nothing can cool me
I just might turn into smoke
But i feel fine

Cause your kisses lift me higher
Like a sweet song of a choir
And you light my morning sky
With burning love

It's coming closer
The flames are reaching my body
Please won't you help me
I feel like i'm slipping away
It's hard to breath
And my chest is a-heaving
(hahahahaha!!! hot man... i will feel this if i see andrew standing shirtless in front of me)

Lord of mercy
Burning a hole in me
Cause your kisses lift me higher
Like the sweet song of a choir
You light my morning sky
With burning love
With burning love
Ah, ah, burning love
(Andrew will sing this part for me)
I'm just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love

NEXT SONG::::

Well its been building up inside of me
For oh I don't know how long
I don't know why
But I keep thinking
Something's bound to go wrong

But she looks in my eyes
And makes me realize
And she says "Don't worry baby"
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Everything will turn out alright

Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby

I guess I should've kept my mouth shut
When I started to brag about my car
But I can't back down now because
I pushed the other guys too far

She makes me come alive
And makes me wanna drive
When she says "Don't worry baby"
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Everything will turn out alright

Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby

She told me "Baby, when you race today
Just take along my love with you
And if you knew how much I loved you
Baby nothing could go wrong with you"

Oh what she does to me
When she makes love to me
And she says "Don't worry baby"
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Everything will turn out alright
(tangina... im melting...)

Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby

Okay, enough na... hahahahaha!!!!
last statement: I love andrew.

I jammed a while ago. I just came home. Zak and Sam invited me to their friend's house a while ago to play in some band so okay. Playlist was awesome! Turn off the lights - Nelly Furtado. Every breathe you take (other version). Anyway you want it. Just a girl-no doubt etc. Cool cool cool too cool.

anyways, im finishing my sketch pad for hartds. yay. i wont fail profes after all. my over all grade for tests/quizzes is 98%. didn't know that.

Great, my roommate had sex again last night. Man, i hope they don't fuck on my bed or else ill kill her! I had to stay over Andrew's place again!!! not like that's a prob but you know... i wanna sleep on my own bed too! She's been bringing home Pete to the room and i haven't really had a chance to use my space in quite a while (bleh). it's weird because i already have my own closet in Andrew's room (i hope his dad doesn't kill me). Most of my stuff are in andrew's place! I might as well live in his room! What's the use of being in a dorm if i have a horny roommate. Grrrr...

that's most probably how my lj is gonna look like if i were in emerson. hahahahhahaha!!!


QUE PASA?! hahaha trademarked by carms inc.
So, hi... weekend. this week = last week. Next week = finals. AHHHH!!!! that's okay.

You know what mishi, you're so lame and you should grow up. PARINIG KA LANG. You wont fuckin end this year happy and ill make sure you wont. Wanna know why? Cos you fuckin dont deserve it! You made other people's lives MISERABLE. It doesnt mean that everyone is siding with Danica you're not hurting others. Fine, we may be in her side but you still said really hurtful stuff about us! You don't deserve to be fuckin happy. Alam mo, makakarma ka one day and you will so fuckin wanna die (more than you want now). You should be embarrassed and shouldn't even have the guts to fuckin just drop this. YOU, YOU'RE NOT A TRUE FRIEND. I don't even think you wanna be one bitch. You already know you're mistakes but you're still pushing it. You're pushing that it's ALL DANICA'S FAULT. You're pushing that I TOOK PART IN IT. You're pushing that it's not you're fault. You know what this is fuckin small. We could fix it but YOU PUSHED IT TOO FAR. You just HAD to backstab Danica. AND AND You had the fuckin guts to BRAG that to ALEX?! Parang Danica isn't our friend?! Wanna know why we're siding with Danica?! Because she didn't backstab you ONCE and if ever she told stuff to nike im SURE it's just for a rant and thing is, NOBODY HATED YOU BEFORE. Nike, Japs, or Jules EVER backstabbed you! They never stuck to your flaws. Everyone has flaws. You just made it such a big thing! And YOU PUT WORDS IN DANICA'S MOUTH. You know what, Danica and I never fuckin even talked about your damn cousin. I never her the name "kissy" come out of her mouth. Fuck that man.  I also wonder why you're so fuckin stuck to only your cousin. Hmmm .. maybe she doesnt know our side. tsch. You're such a hypocrite. a btich. One day, someone will slap you in the face and you'll totally wake up. You think you know everything in this fuckk nworld. NO you dont. Fuckin GROW UP. Stop being a fuckin stupid kid. Plus, Ha, you think people like you? The people who like you are the one's you've just lost because i don't think anyone in your fuckin school appreciates the bitch in you.

Kapal mo. to post that "why be sad thing" tsch. PARINIG.
KAPAL NG MUKHA MO.

YOU'RE SO FUCKIN STUPID.

You're worse than how Dans was before.  GET THAT IN YOUR HEAD.
Yah, you didn't cheat but you did DESTROY people and lied. that's worse. People don't know OUR side. ONLY YOURS. THE BAD SIDE. You're such a loser. Go to hell. I hope you have a LONELY CHRISTMAS. Go RUN AWAY and try to brush off what happened and what you did. It will ALL come back to you. You could meet new people everyday but NOTHING compares to a best friend you've had for so many years and people who understand you fro step one. Now YOU have to be all goody goody just to win the hearts of others. And you think when you go to college in the US people will give a fuck about you. Tsch. Maybe the karma will happen then! You'll be a fuckin loner in college cos no one the states will like you! Or guys will use you for sex! tsch.

Fuck you for what you did to my friend.
Fuck you for putting me in this position.
Fuck you for blaming me.
Fuck you for trying to get Alex to side with you. That's not going to happen.

Talking about ALEX, you really think she's stupid enough to side with you? After what you did??? FUCKIN NO WAY. She's smarter than that. geez. loser.

Important events for this week:
Coming home from vigan monday morning and going to class on the same day
Falling asleep really early Tuesday night *
Happy Feet AGAIN with Nicki, Jihan, and Bea
Babysitting Amelie
Hanging out with Hsiang for a bit (she came over)
Had a date with myself in ATC
Went to Bea's house with Jon and Mel and played poker (and won twice)!

all the colures of the world should be
lovin' eachother wholeheartedly.
yes it's alright,take my message to your brother and tell him twice.
spread the word who tried to teach the man who is hatin' his brother,
when hate won't do
'cause we're all the same
yes the blood inside of me is inside of you.

every breath you take,
is someone's death in another place.
every healthy smile,
is hunger and strife to another child.
but the stars do shine
and promising salvation is near this time.
can you feel it now,
so brothers and sisters
shall we know how.

now tell me!
can you feel it,tell me can you feel it,can you feel it!
talk now ca you see what's going down open up your mind.

all the children of the world should be
lovin' eachother wholeheartedly
yes it's alright
take my message to your brother and tell him twice.
take the news to the marchin' men
who are killin' their brothers,when death won't do.
yes we're all the same
yes the blood inside my vains is inside of you.

So, im going to Vigan with my friends from school!!!! So all of you on monday! WUHOOOO!!! I'm so excited! oh yah, no one's gonna text me k? only andrew. thank you friends. but if i text you then it's okay to text me :D

Oh yah, here a shocking truth. Carms got her first pedicure and nails polished from her cousin. HAHAHAHA. I woke up kinda early so i hung out in my ninang's house. My cousin felt weird i guess and told me she would give me a pedicure so i said okay! In the end, she colored my nails and i was laughing and laughing cos it was so cute! NYHAHHHAHAHA!!!! Something different! hahahaha! :D sharing.

It's almost 4 and i haven't packed up. AHHHH! I just fnished my list of stuff to bring and DO NOT FORGET.

□       Shirts

□       Shorts

□       Pants

□       Underwear (bra, panty, socks)

□       FOOD

□       Ipod

□       Camera

□       Celphone

□       Ipod Charger

□       Celphone charger

□       Camera Charger

□       Cards

□       Books

□       Comic Books

□       PSP

□       Medicines

□       Shoes

□       Slippers

□       Towel

□       Deodorant

□       Washie-washie! *

□       Soap

□       Shampoo

□       Facial Wash

□       Cologne

□       Toothbrush

□       Toothpaste

□       Hairbrush

□       Journal and pens

□       Pillow

□       Blanket

□       ME! Doi. Hahaha!

WOW. my prayer was answered. Thank god the man!!! hahaha i'm getting the "getaway for a weekend" that ive been praying for.  WUHOO!!!! I'm so excited!!! Lexy, hsiang, thea, and i are sharing a room!!! shit man, we're gonna have so much fun.
My friend that went last last weekend told me that there are super daming ghosts in vigan. ohhhhh shiiiit. hahhaha im gonna die :P i hope the bathrooms in the hotel are clean... if they're not... oh no... heh heh.

HOORAY! my ipod is not a video virgin anymore!!!!! WUHOOOOWEY! I'm so happy!
I PULLED AN ALL NIGHTER!!!!!!!!!! yezer. how great it feels. hahaha so, it was around 2am when i felt like doing my hartds church homework. :P So i did it. I got so into drawing and shit that i forgot the time. I checked the clock and it was 3am na! I wasn't sleepy yet so i got this HUGE urge to play Bully so i did' hahaha and i got so into the game.... then i noticed the sky was getting lighter. Then next thing i knew, the sun was up. yay!!! hahaha

Gtg now. have nothing else to say!
"DANCE OF THE CUCUMBER!!!!"

Hay...buhay... what else can i say? grrr... I love everything right now. I gez. Grrr...

Anyways, Mari is coming over later. We're going to go to ATC and watch happy feet. :D He asked me last night and i said okay! wuhoo! I WATCHED IT NA. hahahaha i love it when im close to rich people. :P you get a lot of "firsts" nyhahahahahahahaha!

I went to Appple before cos my ipod didn't wana load vids. So, they told me to restore my ipod so it will go back to the original settings plus it fixes the problems. but duiring that time i had like 5k songs and i didn'treally wanna delete then put all those back... heh heh. now that my ipod was resotred TWICE im sure the video loading problem is gone. I hope it is. my ipod is a virgin when it comes to videos hahahaha (that's a funny way of putting it. nyhhahaa)
why is this REMUXING VIDEO taking so long???? what is it???

This is a fuckin reply to your fuckin entry

I know i fucked up our relationship and i didn't fuckin know it would end this bad! I'm fuckin sorry for hurting you by answering andrew! I didn't know it would fuckin lead to this Okay?!?! I'M ALREADY HURTING THIS BAD and you just have to fuckin rub it in.

Here I am again. In front of the computer. It's 1 in the morning. I have the aired episodes of Grey's Anatomy and since i have no class tomorrow and i'm not required to go to school for any school project or submission, I can watch all the episode's tomorrow!!!!!!!! YES!!! I'm so excited!!!! (carms is super excited)
[There is something wrong with my fuckin iTunes and it's pissing me off. Kill. Kill. Kill.]

You know what, there's something wrong with my ipod... there are certain albums that dont wanna work... like the song doesnt play and shit... i feel bad. Like Billy Joel isn't working.. It's so heartbreaking. :( I'll fix it later.

Dear Santa,
       I know i haven't been the best daughter / sister / friend this year but i was taught in school that we should all learn to fogrive. I know you're a jolly old man and you know how to forgive! You could forgive me! This Christmas i would like to recieve clothings and apparel from these brands:
1. Atticus
2. Volcom
3. Macbeth
4. Birdhouse
5. Element
6. Blind
7. Hurley
thanks Santa! If not that i would like to get a new CPU. :D hahaha!
- Carms

DAMNIT!!!! I love the new commercial of Atticus clothing. hahahaha! It's so HOT and COOL!!! HAHAHA If i were to form a rock band, i want to be sponsored by attticus. Dream on Carms. hahaha work nalang for them diba? Taking Back Sunday is under Atticus now... lucky bastards.

Enough for dream world. Let's go back to reality.
My subj's next term:

• COLOR RENDERING
  
• BASIC VIDEO
  
• COMPUTER GRAPHICS
• PROFESSIONAL ETHICS 2
  
• HISTORY OF ART AND DESIGN 2
  
• PHILIPPINE ART AND DESIGN
  
• NSTP

Oh joy. hahaha I'm going to faint next term. Profes2... goodluck. but yah, im excited cos again, ill be drawing. wuhoo!! NOthings better than having tests and all i have to do is color and draw.

Wow im sleepy. brb.

[BACK] So, i stayed up until 5am. At around 2:30, i think, i started getting really bored from watching all the talk shows on tv so i went to my room to play BULLY and shit man, i told myself I would only play for one hour but i stopped at 5 something. AHHHHHH My new addictions: (it's back my friends) ICED TEA and BULLY. BULLY is in my head right now. I want to play. I'll play after watching Grey's Anatomy. Man, i just woke up... wow. I'm just waiting for lunch.

Andrew and i are not in good terms and I think we're not together anymore. I'm fuckin fed up of so many things and if he wants me he'll do something. I can't take all his shit anymore and a while ago i ignored his messages about kyle and nat. Sorry but I dont know what to fuckin believe. People, dont judge me. If you were me you'd feel the same way and i'm SURE about that. Bye love life. Hello Single Life.
NEXT. I'M TIRED OF DEATH. DO YOU WANT TO FEEL HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW? I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY IM IN THS DOT. I HAVE TO EXPERIENCE SO MANY PEOPLE CLOSE TO ME PASS AWAY. IT'S FUCKED UP MAN. IT'S SO FUCKIN FUCKED. OR I KNOW PEOPLE CLOSE TO ME WHO HAS DEAD RELATIVES OR FAMILY MEMBERS OR THEY'RE LOVED ONES ARE ABOUT TO DIE. i FEEL LIKE TOTAL CRAP BEING ME IN THIS PERSPECTIVE. it sucks.

[lighten up]Japs is right. Inside Out is a fuckin awesome song... Man, i was playing it on drums yesterday and fuck... yah... it's fun with the guitars. hahaha you know what, soon, im going to go against the shit i believe in. Like, i have this urge to start smoking to fuckin calm me down... i don't want to take drugs... i dont want to drink too much (i already do this...)... so i guess smoking... NICOTINE... is the way to go? I'm not going to do this for fun or be cool but i JUST NEED SOMETHING TO CALM ME DOWN. IM UNCONTROLLABLE WHEN IM ANGRY. No Carms, control and think of the world. If you smoke, that's killing the environment and you love the environment right?

I was supposed to go to VIGAN today with sina lexy, marie, thea, hsiang, etc but parent's said no... sad...

ANYWAYS,
my last words for all the people who fuck up my life.

"This outfit set me back two paychecks and a Cadillac
The horrorscope today said things would go my way"